To be loved or
To love
Must we choose?

I am the beloved
Yet I see myself from only within looking out
And believe I
   am just the lover

Unchoosing to be both

In spite of, and thanks to my experience
I believe in the moments where we are both the beloved

Those moments fade
Into cool memories
Cozy in my mind

Until they become stinging cold
Like when my bare foot crunches down into the thin layer of snow halfway the drive to get the mail

Oh how it feels to be the lover
Oh how it feels to be the loved
The lover finds ecstasy in their beloved
Why then must the lover expect anything from the beloved?
Is the gift not in the experience of loving?

What is it to be desired
If you do not know desire yourself?

Will we be ever be satisfied?

I surely hope not.