I tried to **** myself when I was 16
maybe 15 too, I really can’t remember
It’s like I knew what was coming
The calm before the ******* hell
The hands the mouths penises
The pills the **** the open wounds on my leg
The open wound in my chest
Ripcage open, blood flesh bone
Screaming
I heard it
I knew it was only a matter of time but
Why why why why WHY
was I too ******* scared
Too ******* scared of god and his little places and his little enemies friends or whatever
What did god ever do for me anyways?
He watched from afar
And if he was close
That’s even ******* worse .