It makes me sad how angry I am it's so bad I'm god ****** the slaughter of God's lamb by the knife in God's hand hatred's supply and demand is all I understand when sexuality creates insanity in this putrid life handed to me with God not answering my prayers for Him to take my eyes instead He just took my hands so now I can't stop staring at guys who don't think I'm a man and I can't fight back with no arms so I must stand there and take harm from people in God's garb and wire that is barbed.
If being without love makes one numb how come I feel every time I'm stung? Especially now that swords are guns and this life's rewards are none just a scoreless run to a finish line before a cliff I pray there is something to lift me away from my earthen crypt but I've found only rage and in that my sorrow banging in my cage but wanting to see tomorrow looking for anything to follow I can't take pills hard to swallow so I float like the thirteenth Apollo.
Wallowing in an empty room pouring alcohol in the wound feeling doomed like I'll die soon in my lonely loft developing a covid cough from those who scorn and scoff and won't ******* telling me to look to God when that's how my arms were sawed into illegal shotguns living this life is not fun so everyone around me got shot some which is just part of God's **** poor potluck my hands must be in there somewhere so I just keep crawling upstairs even though it's unfair my hands must be stolen back from a god dressed in black who took my palms but let me see without knowing how to be I just bite the hands that bleed until I'm too full to breathe and watch God laughing casually.