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Jul 2022
"How was your day?" He asks.

"Up and down," I say. "How about yours?"

He goes on to write me a paragraph about how he hit traffic on the way to work and then work was fine but he had to do some extra cleaning to make up for his coworker showing up late and then he went home and did his volunteer work and his roommate's cat did something cute.

Then he stops.

I respond to each part of his recap. I'm glad he told me and I'm happy to listen.

But I don't say "Aren't you going to ask me to elaborate?"
I don't say "I set you up to ask me again."
I don't say "Don't you care about why my day was 'up and down'?"

I don't say this because then he would ask me again.
But I don't want him to ask me again because I asked him to ask me.
I just want him to ask me.
I know he already asked me.
I don't know why, but I need him to ask me twice.

Blame it on the way I was raised.
Blame it on him not knowing how to have a conversation.
I didn't even know this was bugging me until I was writing this down.

We never have conversations.
We both just make comments and then return to silence.
He doesn't know how to ask questions
And I won't allow myself to say anything unless directly requested.

So I leave my hints and he doesn't take them.
I make my jokes, and he just chuckles like he's trying make a bad comedian feel better.

He asks me how my day was and I say it was up and down and he doesn't ask me what happened.
I know he meant that in the first question.

I don't know why I need to be asked twice.
a journal entry
Caroline Stradley
Written by
Caroline Stradley  26/F/Austin, TX
(26/F/Austin, TX)   
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