Oh yes,
swimming trunks are for beefy hunks, but  the ***-bellied brigade, me and the wobbly jelly brigade wear plus fours and pretend we're off golfing not gawking at the girls,

but we are all shapes and more sizes and that always surprises me when I'm off for a day at the sea
which is not often these days.

summer is coming as if you didn't know
tans and fans and ice cream to go,
there'll be
sand between your toes and up your nose
other places too,
postcards to say, wish you were here
kiss me quick hats and warm Southern
beer, because you won't be in Morecambe,

nay lad,
tha'll be more likely to be in Ilfracombe
or Woolacombe
now tha's got a bob or two.

I'm at home
feeding the pigeons and
supping homebrew
because that's what,
real Northerners do.