Sandy met him at twelve.
Fell in love.
**** that's young,
I thought.
Then, found she
died at thirty.
Love at twelve,
'cause she had to have
time to love.

Heard dad was dying.
Looked at my cousin
with such envy.
Both of his loving parents
standing there to be with us.
Felt such a feeling of loss,
he wouldn't yet know.
Yet, my aunt died
quickly 'cause the silent
death ceased her as
my dad continued to die.
'cause that was fate.

My sonshine found trouble
'cause he looked in a dark place.
I told my friend she would never
know my grief.
One year later, her son found
a darker place,
'cause love can never save.

I regret my envy and
misunderstanding.  
I judged
'cause I never knew the purpose
of God, the paths he gave.
I need to stop the ponder that
only makes it hurt.