My love,
Only you can understand,
and not underestimate me like myself and others do
How it feels to gather and cling to scraps of hope in means of staying sane
On most nights I talk to myself as if I were talking to you
I tell you about my day, about how mind numbing my work has become
It feels awfully devastating to say that I’ve tried, but it  wasn’t enough
I am busy most of the time, my free time feels like a sin
To eventually realize how little I know about life or how to live
Life has pushed me to a wall, that everyone seems to get through, but me
Often the only escape is sleep, but what feels like a dream, usually is
Because nightmares are real,
Painfully so
In search of solace, I have heard none sense of not working hard enough and other things that enrage me
Only my thoughts of you leave me in peace