Today my anxious thoughts
tell me to hate myself
for letting people in
only for them to break my heart,
for handing over swords
to the ones who came at me with bamboo sticks.

They remind me of
the times I haven’t been a good friend
to the same people I have given my all.
I should hate myself for baring
my heart in front of the ones
who had no intentions of knowing it.

I’m not good enough because
I couldn’t protect myself from a stranger
who came in only to hurt me.
After all that I lost on the battlefield
and the mental scars I carry within,
it’s never going to be enough
‘cause I should have fought harder to win.
But was there any limit?

My anxious thoughts remind me of
every time I have failed,
every time I have trusted the wrong
and everything I’ve lost…!