this was the first time i stayed until the very end
my foot's been halfway out the door for the longest time
but i stayed until the door was shut behind me
i was always the person who leaves first
because i cannot stand being abandoned
but this time, i promised myself to stay
even though i knew there was no use in staying
i keep waiting for the realization to sink in
the fact that i don't have you anymore
i thought i would be sadder than this
but we were the kind of movie that keeps you
on the edge of your seat for hours
and leave you disappointed in the end
everytime i start to think that maybe
i could've done something different
i see that it would be no use
your life is not yours
and even if it was yours
me trying still wouldn't fix us
everytime i see us happy, laughing hopefully,
the facade breaks
and i see each time we hurt each other
i see each time our wants clash
i see me being happy that the sun's out
and wanting to sit outside
and bask in the warm light
then i hear you saying no with that disapproving voice
and see you walk inside immediately
of course i would follow you
i'd follow you everywhere
even when my heart sank
people say you already like somebody else now
and it honestly doesn't hurt me that much
i see very clearly that we are not meant to be
that even if we meet again five years from now
it still would not be us in the end
i don't feel sorry for myself if you have somebody else
because i see the reality of what it was like
being with you for four years
even though some of it was happy and comfortable
it was never the kind of love that i wanted
the lesson i've learned from this is that:
you can't force love
you can't force two incompatible persons to be together
it just
won't work