Jan 2022
Fascinating, isn't it,
How the sight of you was once all it took
To melt away the wax inside my knees.
How your eyes locked with mine and, without fail,
Monarchs took flight inside of me,
And the afternoon sky filled with stars.
And yet
I see you now
And my joints stiffen in the cold.
With every step you take,
I feel you leave
All over again.
- p. winter
How the sight of you was once all it took
To melt away the wax inside my knees.
How your eyes locked with mine and, without fail,
Monarchs took flight inside of me,
And the afternoon sky filled with stars.
And yet
I see you now
And my joints stiffen in the cold.
With every step you take,
I feel you leave
All over again.
- p. winter
I find it so weird how the sight of someone can change how you feel depending on their history in your life. You could look at them a month ago and your whole day became light and easy, and now they walk into a room and you have to fight off the feeling of worthlessness your mind automatically associates with them. Like a weird kind of muted ptsd. They don't even look any different, and maybe they meant to hurt you and maybe they didn't, but either way they remind you of feeling broken. Being happy around people you associate with pain is an olympic sport I swear.
