I never saw the shadow of a tree,
And thought it was a person.
This is quite a letdown to me.
The closest I got was thinking
That my boot was actually my cat.
I wish I could find away to tell myself I'm beautiful.
I didn't know it then,
But I did self harming before I knew what it was.
Back when I was six or seven.
I started bruising myself when my house got loud
With swearing and yelling and
The occasional smack across the face,
And the loud drunken verbal lashings.
I'd sit behind my door,
And hold myself really tight
And pinch my rib cage all over.
Till I couldn't stand it.
It was a nice distraction.