Where did courage grab me by the neck
and force me onward?

Was it when I was hiding behind the piles of ship's cargo
where bravery took over?
Or was it when duty elbowed my excuses
into the dark waters of my easy fear?

I know a chill spat down my soul
and a steel fist closed around my weak resolve
when I heard her voice beyond my cowardly hiding place

"He doesn't initially care", she lied
with that ever-present word of hers, "initially"
Truth snapped onto focus in the mirror on life
"I guess you're initially right", I also lied
jumping out of the trenches
feeling the air suddenly leave the earth

The final confrontation flew around us
like a panicked bat in a fire
ending with a quick exit
and angry footsteps
fading on the weathered planks
of the indifferent old dock

Courage finally released my neck
and the air began to fill
the vacuum
around me

How
after that
in such a battleground
could I still enjoy a blood-red sun
setting over sailboats
bobbing in a row
unaware?