i talk like a blinding light
  i shoot my opinions out like rockets
not asking, “do you want to hear it?”
   and i hate my voice as much as myself
            and i hate my opinions
hate my face
hate my bones
hate the way i’m obsessed with you
hate the way i’m clueless around clusters of stable fairies
hate the silence when i want to speak
hate my tongue
hate my clothes
hate my beliefs
hate my friendships
hate that i hate my friendships
hate the way i crave laughter
hate the way i ruin moments
hate the rawness of emotions
hate when i run into doorways
hate awkwardness when i can’t hear a word
hate waiting
hate the way the sun shines like a bullet
hate the social interaction
hate everything
          but i don’t hate the boldness
  the flavor that you bring me
         cause before i ate warheads
    and called them sweet like the only word in my dictionary
    but now i’m indulging in candy
  it tastes so bittersweet
             because i didn’t know anyone could love me like i wasn’t a disease
    like i wasn’t an ant to step on
    or a watermelon seed to spit out
                           and i thank you
      because it’s almost been a year
     and you make me hate myself a little less.