You'll never know...

You'll never know how it feels
                                               to be powerless, numb to your actions and their consequences
You'll never know how it feels
                                               to be so far gone, to look into the mirror and not recognize the face of
                                               the person looking back at you with blank eyes and an unwritten  
                                               expression
You'll never know how it feels
                                              to hate yourself for what and who you are, but still know that you
                                              can't change, that you're not that strong

You'll never know why I do it, or why I can't stop

You'll never know how it feels
                                               to think eyes are constantly staring through you
You'll never know what its like
                                               to have so much shame for yourself built up inside of you ~
                                               threatening to boil over
You'll never know
                           the pain of this disease, this chronic illness,
                           or the fact that no one you seek help from seems to understand
You'll never know
                           me, or how I feel inside

You'll never know how it feels
                                              to never be yourself, always an actress playing the role of a normal
                                             person with no 'problems'
You'll never know how
                                   powerless I feel at night, when the darkness falls and the memories come
You'll never know how
                                   afraid I am
You'll never know
                           the taste of your own tears as you cry yourself to sleep at night

You'll never know, but if I told you, you'd 'pretend' to know how I feel,
                                                                                                you'll 'pretend' to empathize' with me

But you'll never know...