the other day a well respected friend of mine
asked me why i smoked cigarettes
as i was sparking up to light one

i was slightly taken aback by this question
and i never really thought about why
so my immediate response was,
"it’s just something to fill my time with",

but upon further introspection
i realized i smoked because
it was a slow suicide
not abrupt,
but long and drawn out

and i am too afraid to **** myself
quickly