I'm not in a ******* good place! What is wrong with me? Why do I chase the red flags like they hold the vile of life? Why am I attracted to the ones that hurt me even when that isn't their intentions? Why am I so ******* stupid?  Why do I keep trying? Why can't the higher power just take me already? Why do I always have to suffer? Why must there always be so much pain inside me? Can't I just be happy? Can't I just find my peace? I promised me I would stop running; but **** that's all I want to do! I want to run halfway into the trees and stop, just stop,  stop every single thing, stop moving, stop hurting, stop crying, stop  breathing, stop living, stop existing, just ******* stop all of it! Why to I have to keep trying and keep going and keep my head up? Why can't I just ******* stop?