one time i lost my moms trust
for running away
now i’m facing the same pain today
she looked me in the eyes, said,
“i can’t trust you anymore,
you took that away,
it’s gonna take a while”
i sobbed at thought
of losing her trust
because that’s the one thing
i’d **** myself over
the disappointment, the guilt
it’s so overwhelming
i feel like i’m choking and my stomach is eating itself
i have to live with this

i’m supposed to be the one you trust,
the one you love,
and i ****** up.

you’d think i would have learned,
it feels like deja vu,
reimagining child hood memories
that shouldn’t involve you