Woken early by my black dog
growling at another rabbit hole,
pulling at the leash to
dig out some sorrow or fear
to bring back home
and leave at my door.

And there it would stay,
if I were in charge.
But today my Ego stands
waiting for His treat and
carries it into my mind.
And there He starts his dissection.

Pulling apart the fresh, raw,
sinewy emotions, Ego searches
for what disgusts and repels Him,
what challenges His very existence.
Where He finds it, He creates
suffering that wasn’t there before.

He relishes this for it is his
life force, this is the stuff of
anxieties, hatred and misery
which He pushes onto me as
the proof of why I should be
what I should be.

He points to where I’ve been wronged
and stokes my fires of self pity,
anger and indignation. Whipping up
within me what He needs to survive,
an identity different to ‘those others’,
so its me and Him versus the world.

But its not. I want no part of His critical
joy, the self-satisfaction and justification
for his continued being. I work
to see his tricks and machinations
so I might see Him coming and
expel Him and his ever-present hound.