Long day.
Still no job.
Not a friend to hear my cry.
I just really need some sleep.

You know, my ceiling doesn't look the same anymore.
Endless nights of mindless staring--
has accumulated a peculiar fascination with
this slab of poorly painted drywall.
Blank, empty, curious,
it seems as if my ceiling and I have more in common
than I previously recognized.

I don't know when the sleepless nights started,
but my need for them to end is imperative.
I can't take it anymore.
Lying alone in your bed at night,
provides too much time for thought.
I can't deal with more thoughts.
Not with this insignificant life of mine.

Too many thoughts of love,
and how i don't posses it.
Too many thoughts of hope,
And how there is none.
Too many thoughts of Heaven,
And how I'll probably go to hell.
Too many thoughts about those painkillers in the drawer--
hiding so close to the whiskey;
Too many thoughts about how many pills It'd take;
Too many thoughts about the chance of getting some real rest;
...
I just really need some sleep--
Forever.


-Bb