as my brain fogs up
and my breath struggles              
throat closes                      
my hands clench air
as my muscles shake  
and a shudder rips through me      

i need you                                                                            
just to hold me                                                                            
rub my back,                                                                            
and hold my                                                                            
clenched hands,                                                                            
lay me down                                                                            
and hold me.                                                                            
kiss my cheeks                                                                            
nose, lips, eyelids                                                                            
and hold me.                                                                            
nothing needs to                                                                            
be said,                                                              
just hold me until
everything's okay
until the pain leaves  
until i can think again
until i notice you        
holding me
i'll return                      
all the kisses
hugs, hand holding
i'll return every minute
of you holding me
with me holding you
every time you need
to be held
i'll hold you
until you sleep
if you hold me
to sleep tonight