this year for halloween
im going as a slice of cheese
so i can scare people
with puns
now how do i begin?
o-que, so
i walk down the halloumi and see
my friends colby and jack
colby's dressed as a camembear
scary enough to make you go emmental
jack's dressed as the Cheshire cat
who listens to baroquefort
we all sit down paneer the window
"so teleme," i ask, "what's gouda?"
"i'll tell you what's gouda," jack replies eagerly,
"see that girl over there, fonTina?"
how could i swiss her, i thought, with her looks and her cheddar, she could make it gruyere down there out of even the LEAST manchego of men
"go talk to her, jack, it'll be a brieze"
"no whey man!"
"yes whey"
"man i'm too anxious, i'd rather talk on the mascarphone"
"what do you mean, you're the goat!"
"we can'tal be buff-alo like you, why don't you talk to her?"
"already dating monterey"
"i didn't know you swung both wheys"
"sometimes i feel like my sexuality was madE backwards"
"alright that's enough!" jack stammered. "i'm fetup with these puns! it was fun at first but it's gotten annoying. some of this shit doesn't even make any sense! just go man, nobody wants you here."
colby and i exchanged a solemn glance
i turned to jack
"..................ricotta be kidding me!"
"LEAVE!" jack screamed, and i turned and walked away
now it's time i asiago home
feeling blue, heading back to my cottage
sad and provolone