I was promised that it is worth forgiving you, and that reassurance couldn’t have come at a better time.

Last night was spent in anger and frustration, because I love you, and the numbness has gone; so my heart is flooded. I’m drowning. There are times that I still want to hurt you like you did to me. There are also times that I want to hold you and never let you go because I’m afraid if I don’t hold tight enough, you might slip from my grasp.

Tasting another person after 18 months of me, and only me, what does that feel like? Are you afraid? Are you satisfied? Are you disgusted with yourself?

I don’t want to know her name anymore. I don’t want to know that she comforted you when I couldn’t, because that’s my job and I know you know that no one will ever love you the way that I do. No one will ever hold that place in your heart but me.

How can I say that I know that, when you did something so vile and out of character? Because that’s exactly what it was, out of character, and It must have felt empty. It had to or you wouldn’t have stopped yourself, you wouldn’t have told me. That’s how I know.

No one has ever loved me or hurt me the way that you have, the way that you do, and I really, sincerely believe that I’ve found what I need in you. I’ve found the love that everyone searches for, and I cannot give up on that.

I can’t ***** out my only source of light when I know there’s so much darkness to face ahead of me.

- S.G.