Aug 2021
BIDEN (to Bush)
I have to say,
Because of you, man,
We have this mess
In Afghanistan.
BUSH
It's not my fault.
We were attacked
On 9/11,
As a matter of fact.
If we hadn't gone
To Afghanistan
What would have been
Al-Qaeda's next plan?
BIDEN (to Bush)
But wait a minute!
Al-Qaeda was routed.
But let's talk about
Other things you flouted.
Like the truth when you said--
Like a vicious hawk--
That there were reasons
To invade Iraq.
OBAMA (to Bush)
Ah, so it's your fault.
BUSH
No!
WE went there
Because of the production
Of dangerous weapons
Of mass destruction.
OBAMA (to Bush)
But how did they ever
Get on your list--
The WMDs--
For they DIDN'T exist?
OBAMA, BIDEN (to Bush)
See, it's your fault!
BUSH
No, it isn't!
I decided
As commander in chief
That Saddam Hussein
Was causing too much grief.
I had to do
Something about it.
So, I had my team
Try to figure out it.
OBAMA, BIDEN
Figure it out,
Is what you mean.
But come on now:
You've GOTTA come clean.
BUSH (to Obama)
Wait!
You're the one
Who pulled our troops
Out of Iraq,
Which then allowed groups
Of ISIS fighters
To spread their hate
As they tried to form
An Islamic state.
So it's your fault.
OBAMA (to Bush)
The Iraqis wanted
Us to leave.
I didn't have
Any tricks up my sleeve.
The war in Iraq
Was a major distraction,
It didn't help matters,
Not even by a fraction.
Because of you,
People lost their focus
On Afghanistan
With all your hocus-pocus.
BUSH, BIDEN (to Obama)
But then you suddenly
Had the urge
To initiate
A giant surge
Of troops again
In Afghanistan.
What the hell
Were you thinking, man?
TRUMP
You all bear
Responsibility.
The war was a lesson
In futility.
BUSH, OBAMA, BIDEN (to Trump)
You're the one
Who spun his wheels.
With Taliban forces
You made some deals
Without including
Officials from
The government.
And that was dumb!
Did YOU perhaps show
With your Sharpie and your chart
That by May 1
The troops would depart?
TRUMP (to Obama and Biden)
Now wait a minute!
Part of your campaign
Was troop withdrawal
From the Afghan domain.
BIDEN (to Trump)
And that's what I did.
I followed through
With an agreement
That was made by you.
It wasn't something
That I reversed.
I just moved it
To August 31st.
Who could know how long
The government would last
And that the Taliban
Would move in so fast?
BUSH, OBAMA, TRUMP (to Biden)
Then it's YOUR fault!
THE PEOPLE (to Bush, Biden, Obama, and Trump)
It's EVERYBODY'S fault…
Along with Congress
And others we could blame.
But stop pointing fingers
And end this stupid game!
You ALL bear the fault.
Be that as it may,
What is done is done.
That was yesterday.
We need to save lives,
So, find a way somehow
To try to figure out
What to do now.
BIDEN, OBAMA, TRUMP, BUSH (pointing at one another)
But it's still your fault!
THE PEOPLE
Stop!
-by Bob B (8-18-21)
°Very loosely based on Stephen Sondheim's song "Your Fault" from INTO THE WOODS
I have to say,
Because of you, man,
We have this mess
In Afghanistan.
BUSH
It's not my fault.
We were attacked
On 9/11,
As a matter of fact.
If we hadn't gone
To Afghanistan
What would have been
Al-Qaeda's next plan?
BIDEN (to Bush)
But wait a minute!
Al-Qaeda was routed.
But let's talk about
Other things you flouted.
Like the truth when you said--
Like a vicious hawk--
That there were reasons
To invade Iraq.
OBAMA (to Bush)
Ah, so it's your fault.
BUSH
No!
WE went there
Because of the production
Of dangerous weapons
Of mass destruction.
OBAMA (to Bush)
But how did they ever
Get on your list--
The WMDs--
For they DIDN'T exist?
OBAMA, BIDEN (to Bush)
See, it's your fault!
BUSH
No, it isn't!
I decided
As commander in chief
That Saddam Hussein
Was causing too much grief.
I had to do
Something about it.
So, I had my team
Try to figure out it.
OBAMA, BIDEN
Figure it out,
Is what you mean.
But come on now:
You've GOTTA come clean.
BUSH (to Obama)
Wait!
You're the one
Who pulled our troops
Out of Iraq,
Which then allowed groups
Of ISIS fighters
To spread their hate
As they tried to form
An Islamic state.
So it's your fault.
OBAMA (to Bush)
The Iraqis wanted
Us to leave.
I didn't have
Any tricks up my sleeve.
The war in Iraq
Was a major distraction,
It didn't help matters,
Not even by a fraction.
Because of you,
People lost their focus
On Afghanistan
With all your hocus-pocus.
BUSH, BIDEN (to Obama)
But then you suddenly
Had the urge
To initiate
A giant surge
Of troops again
In Afghanistan.
What the hell
Were you thinking, man?
TRUMP
You all bear
Responsibility.
The war was a lesson
In futility.
BUSH, OBAMA, BIDEN (to Trump)
You're the one
Who spun his wheels.
With Taliban forces
You made some deals
Without including
Officials from
The government.
And that was dumb!
Did YOU perhaps show
With your Sharpie and your chart
That by May 1
The troops would depart?
TRUMP (to Obama and Biden)
Now wait a minute!
Part of your campaign
Was troop withdrawal
From the Afghan domain.
BIDEN (to Trump)
And that's what I did.
I followed through
With an agreement
That was made by you.
It wasn't something
That I reversed.
I just moved it
To August 31st.
Who could know how long
The government would last
And that the Taliban
Would move in so fast?
BUSH, OBAMA, TRUMP (to Biden)
Then it's YOUR fault!
THE PEOPLE (to Bush, Biden, Obama, and Trump)
It's EVERYBODY'S fault…
Along with Congress
And others we could blame.
But stop pointing fingers
And end this stupid game!
You ALL bear the fault.
Be that as it may,
What is done is done.
That was yesterday.
We need to save lives,
So, find a way somehow
To try to figure out
What to do now.
BIDEN, OBAMA, TRUMP, BUSH (pointing at one another)
But it's still your fault!
THE PEOPLE
Stop!
-by Bob B (8-18-21)
°Very loosely based on Stephen Sondheim's song "Your Fault" from INTO THE WOODS
