bedazzled in tattoos
he comes through attics
finds phones to steal
he's the phone fanatic!

he's got hands with a face
has all the bandwidth and space
and when he steals in broad daylight
he leaves every possible trace

because the phone fanatic's a phony
stole a phone once and thinks he's a god
we all know he's a one-trick pony
begrudgingly rocking his worn out dad-***