My entire life I've been trapped in a glass box--
glass walls;
there's a barrier between myself and my emotions--
a barrier between myself and the rest of the world

I ache

I thought I saw things and understood clearly what my life was and meant--
I thought I saw clearly who were my friends--
but I didn't,
I couldn't,
still can't,
my hands have been reaching for touch:
acceptance;
someone to see me clearly too

but I've placed my hands on this barrier so many times that handprints and the sworls of my fingertips marr the glass with smudges
the vision is blurred

I'm reaching out

trying to touch

just making the visibility worse with every attempt


       --I don't think I'll ever see the glass clearly again