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Jul 2021
All those subtle acts
Random as they might be
Carefully thought out
Remember DO's and DONT's
All the while portraying
With rainbow flags
Neon strobes
Megaphone so loud
You don't hear it
You literally see it
The feelings I have for you
Never demanded payback
Even when I tell myself
Just forget it all
Everything that has YOU
Graffiti carved into it
You manage to stay
Like an obedient dog
To a foreign owner
My commands and desires
Have no interest in listening
I watch you smile
Hold back tears
Deny depression
Hope and pray
For the exact outcome
I treasure in dreams
Only difference is
I'm not in yours
Notoriously I'll settle
Eventually in that specific
Happy little home
You made for me
In your life
As a dear friend
With all intentions
Of placing me on a shelf
Forgetting I exists
Similar to children's dolls
If I were to become inanimate
I'd surely collect dust
All effort to keep me
In the forefront of temporal lobes
You wouldn't even use
If I didn't chisel a smile
On your statue expression
Keen on not letting the world see
That very human little girl
Who only wants what she wants
Love and affection
Attention and devotion
Not placed on a pedestal
Merely elegantly placed
To surely be noticed first
If only you knew
What I keep hidden from you
Maybe you do
Then I'm just a fool
Either way it goes it seems
I don't have stupid
On my forehead
But undoubtedly it's stamped
Ever so boldy
Across my ***
For patiently waiting
In a line to a buffet
Closed down for so long
Dying of starvation
Knowing no other place
Will be as enjoyable
As the one I dined at
That one time
So long ago
If you knew
If you really knew
That I don't just love you
My heart idolizes you
You captivated me
Far beyond comprehension
That it irates me
I can't figure out
Exactly why I'm stuck
Feeling this way
You're my sun
Keeping my earth in orbit
Till your light switch
Starts being played with
Disconnecting me from you
Leaving me awaiting
A black hole
You pull me away from
Just as I'm about to dive in
If I could erase you
From my heart I would
Just so you could chase
All the happiness
You may or may not find
While I chased nothing
Expecting nothing to come
From every little bit of something
Knowing, if you knew
How I really felt
You'd be lost right with me
Sipping depression
On anxiety front property
Stranded on an overpopulated island
To loneliness instead
Where unmet hopes
Grow like weeds
Often used as kindling
For a fire to get through the day
So tell me now
Do you really want to know me
Black box warning label
How I feel comes as a side effect
I guarantee you don't
I'd advise not
Then you'll have to face
How you really feel
Trying to juggle
What you want
With what you need
And what you have
So whatever you do
I ask at least
Turn the magnet off
That way rust can finally
Consume my iron heart
Unbending in it's unwavering decision
To love you and only you
With little to no interest
In potential relationships
Or ****** fulfilment
All I need is your smile
And I have everything
So if you didn't
Maybe you do now
Maybe you won't ever
Depending on if I ever
Convince myself to try
Attempting for you to know
So I'll know
What I need to know
To just close this chapter
I've been rereading
Since the day I met you
Robert Guerrero
Written by
Robert Guerrero
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