There was once this girl I liked.
I liked her so much,
it made me lose my breath,
every time we talked.
Yes, she was that incredible..
But, there was a few things I didn't like,
her lack of emotion when it came to feelings,
how she always used to press my buttons,
just to get a reaction,
how she lead me on,
just to break me down.
A true player, she broke hearts for fun,
just to cheer herself up when she felt down in the dumps,
she ******* up quite a few people's hearts.
I remember the first time I spoke to this girl,
she seemed nice at first, until,
her mood became worse.
It came to the point where we used to fight,
and have this certain distance for weeks,
she always said she was 'done',
then weeks later, she'd come back around,
saying she was sorry and that she felt dumb.
This happened on many occasions,
but even at her worst,
she was still the best,
in my blinded eyes.
This behavior went on for years,
and while I was swallowing my tears,
she was showing her smiles.
Cruel was an understatement.
She knew how I felt,
and made fun of,
my feelings.
The girl I loved, played with my heart,
and I was too blind to see,
this wasn't the one for me.
But, I gave her a chance,
hoping she'd change,
wow, I was wrong,
but, I couldn't move on,
at that point in time.
She broke hearts for the thrill of it,
how sick is that?
Too mean.
But I'm done.
Y'know, when we first spoke,
her plan was to make me fall,
her plan was to lead me on,
and then break my heart.
But guess what?
Her plan failed.
She, herself, fell in love.
And couldn't cope with that,
so she ignored me for weeks,
but came back always,
because she missed me that much.
The player failed at her own game.
Instead, she fell in love,
with the one she wanted to break,
and after that, she sorta 'changed' her ways.
Until, six days ago.
The ex who I tried to keep,
as a best friend,
she gave up on me again.
Wondering why I act so surprised...
I knew this would happen,
but at what time?
I never knew.
I guess a part of me wants her in my life,
but as a friend.
Just wish our friendship,
wouldn't always end/re-mend.
Some friends are hard to be around,
feels like the old connection is gone,
like, you're with a stranger in a room,
and all you can do is try your best,
to make that work out.
If you can't,
then I guess,
that friend,
you have to live,
without.
© Natali Veronica 2013.