I used to be suicidal
**** that selfish ****
Don't wanna do it anymore
Though time to time I ponder it

Everything makes me sad these days
Feel small and helplessly weak
Takes all my strength to whisper
No one listens to a word I speak

Like I have no purpose here on earth
They'd care if I were worth more
My family used to be proud of me
But that was before

But they don't have a reason to
I have changed so much inside and out
I don't blame them for not giving me
The benefit of doubt

What's going on with my moral compass?
It used to always point to what's right
But I cannot read which way to go
Because my vision is bathed in night

I'm working to fix my broken parts
But I don't even know why
When I am obviously beyond repair
Yet in vain I continue to try

Nothing's changing
Except my age and appearance
I feel older each and every day
Beauty stolen by time way too soon
I guess that's the price I pay

I can't live like this forever
I'm not fooling myself anymore
If I keep going at a rate like this
I'll end up at the grim reapers door

Yet I don't have the right to be afraid
Death was what I once wanted most
But I know if I had made the choice then
I would regret being stuck here as a ghost