am i supposed to feel this way?
as if i am the last speck of sand in an hourglass?
cuz i think there's something wrong with my brain;
my therapist told me i'm very self aware
but i'm still not sure what to do
because i know why i fail
and i know how to succeed
i've been guided thru and thru
lectured and praised and punished and taught
yet i still find myself kicking in doors
and lying thru my teeth
i believe things will get better
but i'm not sure i deserve it;
there's a lump at the back of my throat,
permanently settled