how to start to create something
hidden and subtle,
like a carefully crafted secret
only unintentional.

you were my secret.
well,
i guess you sometimes still are in my dreams
but I know better;
i know you're not mine.

now that the fantasy as faded,
distance to breath helps me see that you were a mirage,
something beautiful from far away
but up close it all dissipates
and i see that you were never there to begin with.

our time was short,
relationship almost nonexistent
and yet i could let myself fall so hard
i almost did.
i let you consume my thoughts
and drive my fantasies.

now i sit here scolding myself
scolding the overthinker
scolding the dreamer who dares to get wrapped up in things that only occurs to the quiet girl in rom-coms and meet-cute novels.

her head and her heart only cause her pain
waiting for a day that may never come,
but she keeps on dreaming
and waiting
and wishing
and loving

one day....
one day....

one day her heart may be released from its cage only to be shot down,
but one day someone may pick it up, take it home, cherish it, love it,
and she will no longer think of the missed moments and passerbys,
of the connections that electrified,
Cause there will be many that make those pale in comparison.

One day....