i dont want to be pretty or perfect
i dont want to be loved
or held close and adored
i dont want to be her world
her sunshine, her favorite person

i dont want people to depend on me
it hurts too much to let them down

i dont want those memories back
of being wrong, feeling evil and disgusted with myself
i never want to see those guilty scars
the ones i used to write anger on my arms

i dont want to hate myself
which means i cant let anyone love me