I shouldn't text him, even though I want to

The plan was to break up with me at a coffee shop

That’s smart, I think

A public place, entirely neutral.

That didn’t happen

I got sicker

I couldn’t drive

I could barely get out of bed.

You still came over

You still said you loved me

You still said you wanted to be friends

You still walked away while I cried

I didn’t cry because of you, at first

I cried because it hurt to be awake

My body was tearing itself apart

Nobody was doing anything

I got better, not all the way, not yet

I have a plan for my body, now

I had an MRI today and I have acupuncture every week

I use every oil and ointment in the book

I have space to cry over you, now

I have space to be angry

I can tell your friends how you hurt me

I have time to listen and talk

You don’t want to talk

“I want to be friends”

That’s a lie

You don’t want to take accountability or talk about what happened

We gave each other a year of our lives

We’ve only been alive 18

And yet, you don’t want to talk

You just wanted to break up with me in the coffee shop

down the street from my school

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