Tonight was the first time,
I think,
I have ever heard the hurt in your voice
with no music playing.
Or seen the regret etched in the lines
on your face in the dark.
It was odd, finding you so vulnerable.
Opening you up and dissecting the words inside.
I didn't know what to do with myself
and with your vulnerability.
and mostly your regret.
what do I do with all your regret?
It seemed like you finally realized
what you threw away.
That you threw away hope
and no one can live without hope.
But you tried to live without me
and in the process you destroyed me and
I had to try and find myself again.
That's why I put up walls,
you have to understand.
There are walls now.
I don't know how they got there,
one day I just built them up and they stayed.

I wanted to be there tonight,
but I was tired of being told that I didn't.
I thought about grazing your lips with mine
and touching a star with sun-kissed finger tips,
but those walls told me it was a bad idea.
that I would, again, inevitably, be hurt.
Though my heart still beats for you and
my soul still likes to laugh with you,
my mind is confused on how to react.
You must understand this fight between
body
and heart
and soul
and mind.
and also with the world.
because everyone's biased towards something.
and maybe I'm just biased towards you.