I look at the mirror.
I look at the sky.
Sleeping on the solid ground, wondering how I’m still alive.
I find the easiest ways to hold back how I feel.
I’m usually not feeling real.

My life is a disease, my pain is evident
In every word I read, I’m sighing at their happiness.
And when I bleed, I only bleed regret.
And when I sleep, I sleep for days.

Things are different now than they were yesterday,
But I still think of you in every word I say.
I wish you’d just come back and tell me what you did to me was wrong,
I’m feel so gone.
I feel so completely numb.

When does it end?
When does this rabbit hole I’m falling down descend into something good?
Could this deep wound heal? Could I not be lost?
I just want to feel whole… I just want to feel.