i will chase happiness,
my childhood dream
down to the riverbank
in this foreign town
i will look for it
in the reflection of my face
on the water
with the sunlight
in my eyes.
i will follow it down the sidewalk
to the baseball diamond
where i once kicked up dust and gravel
on a sunny day
in contempt
of a bad call:
a dry-mouthed
wonderful
day.
i will pursue it
until i get to the big yellow house
of trauma
and i will close my eyes
and pretend that
home doesn't smell
like a crypt
i will see mom and dad
standing in the sunlight
on the shore of the lake
smiling.
i will think happy thoughts
i will dream happy dreams
i will be
happy
as long as i can tuck away
re
ali
ty
like a child that has
finally fallen asleep.