He tried to feel it and see it in his mind. Not let anyone bother or distract him from what he was doing. He'd joke so many got mad took it personal. They held a grudge so anything he said or did made them mad. He didn't like to lie and his truth telling got them caught up. Since they wanted him to lie cover up their flaws and mistakes, instead of owning up.
He was tired of being the middle man, the voice of reason. They would've done, what they wanted anyway.