It's even more obvious now
How little I hold of your heart
Even more so your mind
Even though I know
The distractions you face
I honestly don't know why
I even care as much now
As I did back then
We've had these conversations
So many times
Less and less we've showed affection
Why is it you still have a grip on me
It's not like you want me
Or even have a place in your life
For me and the path I've chosen
When it's in the opposite direction
You want to travel
I've given up so many times
Still held hope
Useless as it was and is
I can't seem to chase it
That fantasy of love anymore
No one compares to you
The standards you set
Some came close
Yet failed me
When I failed to show emotion
The very ones I've vaulted
Locked away and melted the key
Destroyed all traces of the code
I don't want to feel anymore
Always hopeless attempts
Failure on both sides
Why is it my life my heart
Is devoted so hard to you
I'll davy jones this *****
If I had the mystical powers to
Cast aside all humanity
Sail the in-between
Bury opposition in watery graves
I'm sick from my heart
Rotting my mind
Infected with depression
Knowing expectations are never met
And all I want is to feel
As if I'm worth saving from myself
By the hands of someone
Who genuinely loves me
Beyond a shadow of a doubt