Guys! You have ten minutes. Ten Minutes!
A clatter as a pan hits the ground
The presenter looks with a smile but not a sound
A raised brow and a flurry of panic
The fear in their eyes all trying to cook organic

You won't believe it but Courtney was just necking Craig by the pool
Shut up! No way!
Seriously
After just telling us all he's gonna propose to Abbey when he gets out
And Abbey's watching this?
Uh huh
What a ****
You know that
A complete ****
It's gonna cause a spat
Unbelievable

I was told by my teacher that I had a voice
But working the tills at ASDA was my only choice
Then this lady heard me humming as I scanned through her Spam
She dragged me to her agent as we rode the Manchester tram
I sang
She cried
I'd never sang with such pride
And hear I stand with Ant and Dec
Cameras on with nowhere to hide

Guys! You have two minutes. two minutes!
Etc. Etc. Etc.............And Repeat

JJB