every year i spend the week leading up until today thinking 
thinking about this day 
it finally comes
each year it starts to feel a bit easier
until i hear laughter and warmth of innocent people singing happy birthday
restaurants are bait for birthday parties 
while everyone else smiles, i hold back tears
i can’t hold it against them 
i know you would want me to smile too
but still it’s hard 

i miss you every day of every week of every month of every year
that never changes 
the emptiness never changes 

but every year, i know you are wishing me the best from above
 every year i know you are proud of me and how far i’ve come
every year i get a little stronger 

every year on march 1st i mourn a best friend 
every year i mourn a beautiful person
every year i mourn my sunshine 
but every year gets a little brighter 

breathe easy
year i miss you more
every year i realize that things may not be the same but things are okay

a.a.