I don't know
Where to go
What to do
How to do it
Why I'm here

I'm a lost girl
On a search
For Patricia Pan
Maybe
Just maybe
She can give me a compass
That will point
To where I should be

I can't be
On my own
Like I always am
You said you'd be here
When I needed you most

I understand now
You need to take better care
Of yourself
I can't rely on you;
My unsteady wall
Made of loose rocks
Instead of bricks
With concrete to keep them in place

If I try to lean on you
I know you will fall
I try to be gentle
But you need to be able
To support yourself
And I need to be able
To respect that

It's just so hard
When I try
To have a simple conversation
With you
And get shut down
Or left hanging
Every
Single
Time

I can't admit
That I'm not okay
It's not fair of me
To expect you
To notice
Whenever I need something
Like a shoulder
Or a hug
Or even just an ear to listen

I need you
And I need you
To realize that