A hundred and forty Happy birthday me! Funny thing is I don't feel A day over a hundred and ten. So I'm going to spoil myself rotten Bacon, sausage and egg Flavour crisps for breakfast Five cheese pizza Flavour crisps for lunch And asparagus in wine and steak Flavour crisps for dinner. Crisps! I love them They changed my life, But personally, for me There is never enough salt. I always carry some with me So I can have a little sprinkle. And Maddy is over the Avian flu now So we can meet up. She was quite ill for ... Oh, a good few hours I told her not to feed the swans But that is her all over, reckless And she's funny about her age, As if it's some great secret or mystery, She always tells me she's ten years Younger than me But she's got to be at least a hundred And fifty, if she's a day.