how long more do we pretend to be friends? how long more must we dance around each other, pretending that we care?
how many more “how are you?” “i miss you” must i ask?
how many more times do i have to convinced myself that i care for you the same way you do.

i feel burdened by our lost friendship that was caused by me. i feel burdened because F said we are all still okay. are we though? the rest of you are okay, but not me. i feel too guilty being the absentee friend. i have left everyone (regretfully) and nothing has changed.

i feel burdened that our once blooming friendship went straight to hell because i was an absentee friend. i feel burdened because i still love you all dearly but my once bright persona has disappeared and i am nothing more than just a shell.

mostly, i feel sorry because i know i don’t deserve this friendship. the four of you are lovely. you are used to be my world.