When seeing Red

Had I possessed
An astrologer’s poetic vagueness
Along with a mind bent
Like the ******* of Saints
A slow cautionary peace
Dubious to react
When prodded and poked
By eyes direct
And boasting a manly strength

Had I possessed this
And had not preferred the sound
Of crack a bone whip and snap
The cold breaking sound
Of meaty
And violent reckoning
With those who concerned me
With a complacent idiocy
And question piled upon question
Some fragile corroded brick
So brittle I might blow them down

Had I possessed
Arms gathering awareness
Like gentle summer storms
Pulling up grey and billowing clouds
Only to empty
And replenish
A kind and fruitful way to turn
Would be destruction

My heart then..
she would not hurt so
When my mind wanders through my castle built
Of selfish walls held tight by a mortar worth its weight in only gold
Gold holds no value in the heavens

....
  
These strongholds
like legs
It is like I could not walk without them
As if with all my might
I could not breathe without them

They split my middle
Of love and hate
And on one side I could not win
And with the other
I am unfamiliar