You told me you loved me but I broke anyway
You told me you loved me but the middle fell out and I splintered on the rocks below
You told me you loved me but it's so hard to believe when you say nothing and I have nothing to trust but the voices in my head telling me that you're disappointed, that I annoy you, that you miss her, that I am not what you want.
How do I trust you when I am always ******* up. How do I trust you when I always push you away, or you push yourself off the cliff and don't look back as you fall fall, fall down and leave me behind, alone and cold and empty as always. Empty but full of empty thoughts, empty drawers of you and you and more and you, empty as you fall
How do I trust you when I can't trust myself to make you love me?
How do I trust you when I can't tell if you love me or my warmth, my voice or the comfort my words used to bring, my laugh or its validation, my body or the space it takes up next to you. Sometimes when the sky falls and your eyes turn from brown to black and I wish I could see your face and hear your rhythmic breathing, I miss your body and your scent and your voice, and I remember that you don't miss me.