when he's gone,
i told myself,
it'll be no different
than it is now.

when he's gone,
you'll miss him, yes,
but you didn't see
him much anyway.

his long, gray beard,
his reoccurring, rough laugh,
and his hilarious, yet silly jokes
resound in your head
over
    and over
        and over again.

even now, when his body
is only ashes,
you know that you were wrong;
you always were.