I'm not leaving home.
Not yet.
most of my friends are
But I'm not.
And I feel at a disadvantage.
Like im too reliant on home.
On my family. Its no fault
Of my own that I'm not leaving home,
I would be wasting money in an apartment
When I'm only for a couple hours a week.
Cheaper to travel.

I feel like im doing it wrong,
Right now I should be travelling,
to my new home, with new people.
But I'm not, I'm going to be lonely
This year, just like the others.
Unable to connect, stressed and
Just a mess of an outsider.

I want my independence,
But its not worth the current
Expense. Stuck in the same 4walls,
With the same close family.

God if I last a month without losing my mind,
I might be fine, or not.

I just want to be my own person,
But I'm stifled for now.
Forgotten and just lost
In my home.