I suspect that if I was taller,
I'd get laid more.
Think Basketball: I'd shoot my shot
over her friend zone defense and score.
Her weak knees would wobble at
my every move.
And there’s research to prove it:
the female psyche is hard
wired to conflate height with power.
Leadership. Responsibility.
Extra large shoes.
As if size mattered
more than say,
Endurance
as a true measure
of the lengths I'd go for the people I love.
Still, if I was taller,
I'd have an evolutionary edge.
I'd play the game
like a guitar.
Because guitar gets girl, right?
Picture this:
me strumming at heart strings
under the lights of a coffeehouse stage,
a tall post-modern Troubadour
with say, an east European or French accent.
A Filipino with a French accent:
how baller would that be!
I'd be unstoppable.
I’d have fans. Groupies.
Her phone number.
And the decency of a reply
to my text.
I’ll give the crowd what they came to see:
the tousled hair and rugged eyes,
the unshaven charm that makes her
want more by appearing to care less.
Hard to get: that’s what the crowd wants me to play
on that guitar
I barely know how to use.
(But I’m trying, right?)
yo who is it she's really after,
because that vertically privileged
guitar hero
sounds nothing like me.
I wish I was taller (high chord)
so she'd see me.
Because I am tired
of being turned
into a ghost
writing songs
for an empty room*.
Guitar gets girl.
If thats true,
I suspect she won't get me
because maybe this isnt
the sound I'm supposed to make.
We'd just be pretending
to strike a chord on
strings attached
to a dissonant tune.
We'd play each other out:
a one hit wonder
on a radio station:
Guitar gets girl.
My nice guy cover falls flat.
My Asian appearance falls short
of the socio romantic standard she
is conditioned to fall for*
Guitar gets girl
Same song. Play on.
And forget accompaniment (Ditch guitar)
All I need is a pen
to write lyrics
for my new single.
I’ll start a one-man indie band
and swoon in solitude
over who I sound like
on my own.
(Strum Flourish)