Is it worth it?
To live a life without questions,
never asking yourself why.
There's no reason to pay attention
But I gave in;
Never too wise to make a rational decision -
Nothing left, so I
let these opinions become
incisions in my flesh

Was it worth it?
To put my life in her hands
Fully knowing she'd let it spill
like grains of sand in an hourglass -
Nothing lasts
Except demons from my past;
I can escape about as well
as a mouse in a trap

Its remarkably spectacular;
When I look, stop, then reflect
On everything I've ever done
to inflict another stab to my back

Okay, it's what I lack
In this marvelous abstraction
And how I let my decadent life
fall apart in a fraction of a second;
Every step forward, is just another regression
I take this message as a lesson
I need to embrace my consequences

So I guess I'm an aesthetic,
Because every time I think of her
I can't help but s-s-stutter
because I'm at a loss for words

Then I shudder
as I struggle to
locate my common sense
Because ever since I let her leave
I haven't got a decent night of sleep

And now my only regret,
is the only question I've left
& that's why did I ever let my troubled mind
double as my prison?

Decisions, decisions
I ponder through the legions of lesions
I mean I've got so many problems
even my shrink is in disbelief
Why can't you just leave and let me be
can't you see I'm grieving
the loss of all of my self esteem?
So it seems,
Maybe I really am crazy.
I hate it. /

Nowhere to go, I stumble upon a crossroads
Where I'm greeted by a drifter
who tells me of his most wondrous proposition
"Listen here kid while I enchant you,
I can grant every single wish
you've ever wanted to come true.
All the secrets of Heaven and Earth
I can bestow unto you."

Who are you?
"I come in many names
Why not address me Master, for you are my slave
Some call me Beelzebub, but really I'm you
The voices in the recess of your mind
You deny as the truth
I am Lucifer, the light-bearer
Knowledge, that which haunts you

I am the recurring nightmare plaguing your slumber" -
(The one with the window,
what do you see on the other side?)
a voice whispers
A mirror, the haunting reflection
of memories enamored, inanimate
(Moments forever suspended in time)

"I am your Paradise in Flames -
Your Heaven, insurmountably enshrouded with shadows"
(What are they, the shadows?)
"Your fear. My demons manifest -
in pillars of billowing smoke clouds."

What do I have to do?
"Here, eat of my fruit
Simply hand over your soul,
then lo and behold,
You'll hold the entire world at your disposal
Quid pro quo"

Oh no, I stare in amazement as I wonder
Is this all worth eternal damnation?
It tears me apart
as my heart yearns with temptation.

I stared this abomination dead eye
as I proclaimed with a laugh of elation:
"Worldly possessions have always been
objects of my fascination.
That said, I'm really not one to follow through with prior obligations..."

He said
"Take your time,
I have plenty -
About a lifetime in fact,
Because if you choose to dance with me
its a lifetime you won't get back."

I used to admire you,
and your promise of material ideation,
But I must digress -
Your abhorrent consuming darkness
Is extinguished, with a bolt of lightning
Brilliant and lustrous

(Corinthians 11:14)
"And no marvel, for even Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light"

It's then I decided it best to turn around and walk back the way I came.
I'd rather skip tempting fate anymore today.