why?! why do i care about people?! why do i have a helping nature?! why do i want to be nice?! when people are horrible?! why do people hurt me?! why do i continue to be nice when they do?! why do i shed tears when this happens?! why do i find people who hurt me?! why do i go back to people who hurt me?! why do i apologize when they hurt me?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!