Trying to avoid the darkened voices in my head.
The unbearable pain of trying to make them stop.
Turning my loving heart into the darkened hole of nothingness.
Turning the once beautiful women I wanted to become to the hateful ***** that i'am and hate so much.
There voices telling me over and over just how worthless i'am, and how no buddy loves me no buddy cares. The useless person taking up space.     Why even try.
   Over and over again they tell me the voices in my head.
Why cant they stop why dose it cause so much pain trying to make them go away.

With this hands they once would feel the flowers full of love and life nurturing caring for them to blossom and bloom.
Now this touch  feels them full of hate and loneliness that weathers and decay them into ash.